Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
