Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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