dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I need water and some morals
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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