You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You are the jesus of drinking
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
