I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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