I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
me + whiskey = a bad person
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
