dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize