Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
