I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
