when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
