I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
