ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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