break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
