Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
