you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My life is pants optional.
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