I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
