You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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