Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
