didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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