trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize