Well douche your snatch and let's go!
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
