Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
