remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
