Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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