one two three fourrrrnication!
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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