All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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