Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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