Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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