how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
soo... how was my night?
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