Jerry, you need to find god
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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