This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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