break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
