even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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