Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I think im going to throw up on grandma
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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