we have pet lesbian snakes
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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