i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You were trust falling into bushes
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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