...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize