That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
