I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
