she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
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Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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