I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My ass is underappreciated
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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