So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
