I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
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We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
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Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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