The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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