Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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