alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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