Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
