I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
