i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
i think my cat just said my name.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
