Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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