I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
