Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
