You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
