Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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