So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize