Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
