I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
