I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
