WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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