Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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