Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize
