Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
