yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
