You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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