dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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