Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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