and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
